Thanksgiving Australian Style

Ok, so we don’t actually do Thanksgiving in Australia, nor would I want to start another tradition for the commercial sector to ruin, though I do like the idea of occasionally sitting back and thinking (and I mean really thinking) about what you are thankful for.

There’s lots to be thankful for in this life: there’s the big things (like family, friends, a home, a job) and there’s the little things (like the weather being co-operative, a flower blooming or a much wanted item going on sale just when you were about to give up on getting it). What I want to do is take a look at some of the things I am thankful for and why I am thankful for them.

1. I am thankful to be alive.

So many times, especially when I was younger, I thought about not being alive and how I would go about making that happen. I am thankful I never went through with it. I am thankful that I saw the worth in myself that others didn’t see. I am thankful that I survived.

2. I am thankful for my son.

Infuriating though he can sometimes be I am forever thankful that I have him, that he is happy and healthy, and that he is so full of life. I am thankful that I decided to keep him when I could have either terminated or given him up for adoption. I am thankful that, no matter what, I will always be his mother and he will always be my baby, no matter how old he gets,

3. I am thankful for my job.

I may complain bitterly about it at times, may rage at the unfathomable decisions made by the higher ups, may get in trouble for expressing that rage, but, in the end, I do love my job. I am thankful for the people it allows me to meet. I am thankful for the opportunities it presents to me. I am thankful for the colleagues I have. I am thankful for the understanding it provides me when I call in sick or have to take time off to be a mum. I am also thankful for the pay it gives me, that buys my food and lets me take holidays.

4. I am thankful for my friends.

They may live far and wide and get consumed by their own lives at times but they are always a call, a text, an email or a FB message away when I need them. I am thankful that they tell me when I’m being an idiot (even if I don’t always listen) and I am thankful for their support. I am thankful for the diversity they exhibit in their humour, their jobs, their lifestyles, their sexuality and their beliefs.

5. I am thankful for my mother.

Not just because she’s my mother. She’s also my financial planner, my babysitter and my housekeeper. I’m not sure what I will do without her when she eventual steps off this mortal coil, but in the meantime I’m thankful everything she does.

6. I am thankful for the Australian education system.

It may not be the best in the world but I think it’s pretty good. It doesn’t matter how old you are or what your background is, if you want an education you can get one. It has provided me with not only 13 years of extremely inexpensive public education; it has provided me with 6 years of higher education, which I only pay back once my earnings reach a certain level. From these years of education, I have learned not only specific information, such as the equation for the circumference, but general knowledge, such a critical thinking. Without my education I would not be able to write this blog (I’ll leave it to you to decide whether that’s a good thing or not).

7. I am thankful for the freedoms I enjoy.

I live in a society that is relatively free from persecution. There will be closed-minded people, religious zealots, ignorant fools and all manner of other types of people who try to force others into their way of thinking. I am thankful that the State does not, on a whole, sanction their idiocy. I am free to think what I want, to believe what I want, to love who I want, to travel where I want. I am also thankful that those freedoms are being afforded to more and more of my fellow citizens as we move toward a truly equal society based on merit not on misconceptions.

8. I am thankful for today’s technology,

Without having to miss a beat, I can search for anything and everything online, from the mass-produced to the obscure and rare. I can connect with friends and family on the other side of the world instantly. I can store food for days, weeks, months without it going off. I can cook a meal (well, not me personally, other people can) without slaving over the stove all day, unless you really want to.

9. I am thankful for nature.

I am thankful for the birds that sing, the fish that swim, the clouds that float by, the waves that crash, the flowers that bloom, the wind that sighs, the cats that purr, the children that laugh, the rain that falls and the sun that shines. I am thankful for life on earth and my ability to experience it in all its wonders. That life gives me life. Its existence allows for my existence. I am thankful for nature in all its majesty.

10. I am thankful for my readers.

Few though you may be, without you I’d be talking to myself. I have always said I don’t write for anyone for myself and that is true, but it is always nice to know someone is casting a discerning eye over these random meanderings of mine and perhaps taking something from them that is more than a simple understanding of what has been written.

Happy Thanksgiving, America ... and everyone else as well

Naming Your Child

Choosing a name for your unborn child can be one of the hardest things to do in the world. I was lucky, in the sense that I didn’t have to compromise with anyone else. I could choose whatever I wanted and there was no-one I had to run it by. That’s the benefit of being a single parent. But there are some things you should consider when naming a child, and here’s my top 10 tips:

1. The Surname

The name you give your child might sound perfectly fine on its own but when you say the full name it can be quite horrendous for the child. My surname is Busch (pronounced Bush). My mother used to joke that she wanted to call me Rose. If she had, I would have been Rose Busch (rosebush). It might seem cute when they are a baby but when they reach their teens it can be a nightmare.

The other thing about surnames is, if you have a terrifically long surname, or one that is hard to spell, be kind to your child and give them a nice easy first name. If the child is going to go through their entire life spelling one name, at least do them the favour of giving them a name that’s easy.

2. The Initials

Like with surnames, the combination of initials can spell some terrible things. Imagine being the child whose initials are POO or COW or some other unfortunate arrangement of letters. Imagine the torment. So when choosing a name write down their potential initials and ask yourself: would a young child be able to make something stupid out of that?

3. The Nicknames

Some names don’t really lend themselves to shortening (Jane). Some names just become variations of themselves (Thomas > Tommy). Some names become other words entirely (Richard > Dick) and this can be embarrassing for the child. My mum gave me the name Shannon partly because she though it would be hard to make a nickname out of and she just wanted me to be known as Shannon. I got the following: Shaz, Shazza, Shan, Shanny, Shan-dog, Shannona and (of course) Nona. Whatever name you give your child, they are going to get a nickname made out of it at some point during their life. Make it as painless or as bearable as you can, for their sake and yours.

4. The Prevalence

Do you want your darling child to be unique or the 5^th child in their year at school with that name? There were 2 Shannon’s in my year in high school. Not a popular name, but not unheard of either. We had 4 called Kelly (or variations of) and 5 boys called Matthew. You had to distinguish which one you were talking about before  you started. And it can be a nightmare for teachers. I teach kids gymnastics and had in a class of 20 girls three lots of multiples: Taylor (4); Charlotte (4); Jessica (3). The best way to see what names are doing the rounds is to check the birth notices in the paper each week, and research the top 10 names for the past 5 years.

5. The Pronunciation

If you give your child the name Jack, there’s pretty much only one way you can say it, but the name Kyra can be either Keer-ah or Ky-ra and that’s just a basic example. If you give your child a complicated name, or one that isn’t said how it’s spelled (especially the Irish names), then your child may resent their name and prefer to go by their (often easier) second name or just change it altogether when they are old enough. Then there’s the names that look similar but are pronounced differently: Mia, Maya, Myah. So before you give your child a name, write down the name and give the paper to your friends. Ask then to say the name. If you get 10 variations from 10 different friends, maybe choose a different name.

6. The Spelling

I mentioned above the gym class I had in which there were 4 girls called Taylor. Only they weren’t. One was Taylor. One was Taylah. Another was Tayla. The last was Tailah. I cannot stress enough how frustrating it is for teachers to come across what should be an easy name to spell and have to ask the child to spell it. It got to the point where I’d ask every child to spell their name, just in case they had an unusual spelling for it, even if their name was something easy like Tim (who knows, maybe they spell it Tym).

7. The Weirdness-Factor

It’s usually the celebrities who like to call their children weird things, like “Apple” and “Blanket” (ok, that’s just a nick name, his real name is Prince Michael II, because Prince Michael was already take by his older brother). But occasionally the regular world people adopt this strange habit and call their child something very bizarre. I think your child will either love it or hate it, there won’t be any middle ground with the weird names. If you like a certain thing (for example, planes) I can almost let you get away with naming your child Jett (like John Travolta did) but not Pilot Inspektor (like Jason Lee did). And Nicholas Cage is clearly a Superman fan as he called his son Kal-el, which is Superman’s birth name.

And why stop at one strange name when you can have a whole raft of them. Bob Geldof has 3 daughters: Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom and Little Pixie. Frank Zappa had 2 sons and 2 daughters: Zweevil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, Moon Unit and Diva Thin Muffin.

Other names that celebrities decided to call their children (some you’ll recognise, some maybe not, all you’ll wonder what drugs they were on when filling out the paperwork) include :

Audio Science

Moxie Crimefighter

Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily

Camera

Puma

8. The Style

Sometimes a name just doesn’t suit a child. I work with children a lot and I have had a few instances where the child just hasn’t suited the name because they don’t look like someone with that name typically does. I know it’s hard to know when your child is born if they are going to suit their name in looks and personality but try to choose a name that suits your child, not you.

9. The Meaning

Mostly, name meanings don’t really signify much but when you have a name that is clearly one thing and the child is clearly the complete opposite then it can be a little strange. An example of this might be if you have a blonde haired, blue eyed, pale skinned girl and name her Ebony.

Place names (especially place of conception) are quite popular at the moment. I am named after a river in Ireland, which is nice, but I wasn’t conceived there or born there. If you begin with this trend, it can be a bit awkward down the track if you conceive of your child in some badly named town like Little Hoboken (which is a perfectly acceptable name for a town, just not, in my opinion, for a child).

Likewise, other trends can start out well, if you name your children after flowers, like my great aunts were, you could end up with Violet, Rose, Olive, Daisy, Rosemary, Ivy … and I could go on. Or maybe you prefer gems: ruby, pearl, jade … Or maybe months of the year are more your thing: April, May, June, August. But if you have an especially large family, keeping the trend going can be difficult, and how sad (or exciting, if you pick a terrible trend) for the last child who misses out on the trend.

10. Tradition

Does your family have a tradition of naming the first child after a certain member of the family? Does the father’s first name become the son’s second name? It can be important to uphold the tradition but it can also be important to stamp your own uniqueness on your child as well. For example, in my family there were, when I was little, three generations of men called “Richard” but only one was known as that. My grandfather was known as Dick (a common nickname for people called Richard during that generation). My uncle was known as Des (short for Desmond, his name being Richard Desmond). My cousin was the only one known as Richard. I quite like the idea of passing names down from generation to generation but also understand that it can lead to confusion and a sense of too many people with the same name, especially if the family is very large.

Whatever you choose to name your child, I hope that it sits well with you, your family and (most importantly) your child. Oh, and congratulations on bringing a new life into the world :D

Overcoming Writer's Block

Ok, we all get it ... that annoying, mind-numbing feeling when you stare at the page or screen and nothing wants to fall out of your brain. If you're lucky, it doesn't last long. If you're not so lucky, it can go on for what seems like forever. I am someone who has the concentration span of a gnat when it comes to writing in a single discipline. I like to flit between blogs, poems, short stories and plays. This can been a good way of getting around writer's block but it's not the only way. Here are my top 10 tips and tricks for (hopefully) snapping out of it so you can get back to doing what you do best.

1. Change topic

I have a really bad habit of having 3 or 4 blogs and/or stories on the go at once, but a little distraction can give you the break your brain needs to get back into the original topic. If you get stuck on one thing and can't move forward with it, put it away for a day, a week, however long it takes and write about something else.

2. Exercise your body

Exercise can revitalise you. It gets the blood flowing and, for some, the creative juices flowing. While you exrecise, you can let your mind wander. It might go off on some random tangent that is perfectly relevant to the topic you've been stuck on that means you can now move forward with it. And if it doesn't work, at least you've gotten in some exercise.

3. Read

If you write about a particular subject, then reading works by other authors on the same topic might inspire you to write your next piece. You might not agree with what you read, you might not think it's very good, but remember that everything you read can be fodder for your next piece, either positively or negatively influencing your thought processes. If you're writing poetry or fiction, read things in the same vein as what you want to write to spark the imagination.

4. Play word association games

Whether you play alone or with someone else, just being spontaneous and random can trigger all sorts of topics and ideas and associations that you never imagined were there. Just open up your dictionary to any page and read the first word, that's your starting point. From there it's whatever comes into your mind without thinking about it. I find it best to close my eyes when doing this so there are no outside influences.

5. Be entertained

Watch TV, rent a movie, go to the theatre, listen to some music ... anything that triggers and emotion is good. Scare yourself silly on a rollercoaster, laugh 'til you cry at a comedy club or sing your heart out at karaoke. What you do isn't as important as actually doing it. Sometimes, sitting in front of the idiot box and emptying your mind for a couple of hours is just what you need in order to take a fresh look at what you were working on.

6. Explain your work to someone who has no idea

This can make you think about your topic differently. It can make you get to the essentials of what you're writing about. The person you explain it to might ask you questions which help you to get at what it is that has you stumped.

7. Play Devil's Advocate

If you're writing an opinion piece or arguing for a specific point of view, try looking at it from the other side. Pick holes in your own argument. It will make you make your own argument stronger by weeding out those weak points.

8. Write your piece in a different style

Can't get your poem to work? Try writing it as a short story instead. Can't get your description to flow? Turn it into a review. There's no rule that says you're only allowed to use one style, either. Mix it up. Sometimes it's the kick start our brains need.

9. Go to sleep

If you're tired, your brain isn't functioning at optimum efficiency. Get some sleep, even if it's a power nap. There's only so many cups of coffee you can drink before the side effects become negative. If you can allow your brain to reset itself, you might just find that the vibes are all working in your favour and work can begin again.

And finally ...

10. Relax

If you're writing for pleasure, then that is what it should be: pleasurable. Ask yourself, "does it really matter if it doesn't get done today?" Take a deep breath, don't stress about the final product. If you don't like it, don't publish it, start again, change tack. In the end, you're writing for yourself and you can be your harshest critic, so give yourself a break and chillax.