Naming Your Child

Choosing a name for your unborn child can be one of the hardest things to do in the world. I was lucky, in the sense that I didn’t have to compromise with anyone else. I could choose whatever I wanted and there was no-one I had to run it by. That’s the benefit of being a single parent. But there are some things you should consider when naming a child, and here’s my top 10 tips:

1. The Surname

The name you give your child might sound perfectly fine on its own but when you say the full name it can be quite horrendous for the child. My surname is Busch (pronounced Bush). My mother used to joke that she wanted to call me Rose. If she had, I would have been Rose Busch (rosebush). It might seem cute when they are a baby but when they reach their teens it can be a nightmare.

The other thing about surnames is, if you have a terrifically long surname, or one that is hard to spell, be kind to your child and give them a nice easy first name. If the child is going to go through their entire life spelling one name, at least do them the favour of giving them a name that’s easy.

2. The Initials

Like with surnames, the combination of initials can spell some terrible things. Imagine being the child whose initials are POO or COW or some other unfortunate arrangement of letters. Imagine the torment. So when choosing a name write down their potential initials and ask yourself: would a young child be able to make something stupid out of that?

3. The Nicknames

Some names don’t really lend themselves to shortening (Jane). Some names just become variations of themselves (Thomas > Tommy). Some names become other words entirely (Richard > Dick) and this can be embarrassing for the child. My mum gave me the name Shannon partly because she though it would be hard to make a nickname out of and she just wanted me to be known as Shannon. I got the following: Shaz, Shazza, Shan, Shanny, Shan-dog, Shannona and (of course) Nona. Whatever name you give your child, they are going to get a nickname made out of it at some point during their life. Make it as painless or as bearable as you can, for their sake and yours.

4. The Prevalence

Do you want your darling child to be unique or the 5^th child in their year at school with that name? There were 2 Shannon’s in my year in high school. Not a popular name, but not unheard of either. We had 4 called Kelly (or variations of) and 5 boys called Matthew. You had to distinguish which one you were talking about before  you started. And it can be a nightmare for teachers. I teach kids gymnastics and had in a class of 20 girls three lots of multiples: Taylor (4); Charlotte (4); Jessica (3). The best way to see what names are doing the rounds is to check the birth notices in the paper each week, and research the top 10 names for the past 5 years.

5. The Pronunciation

If you give your child the name Jack, there’s pretty much only one way you can say it, but the name Kyra can be either Keer-ah or Ky-ra and that’s just a basic example. If you give your child a complicated name, or one that isn’t said how it’s spelled (especially the Irish names), then your child may resent their name and prefer to go by their (often easier) second name or just change it altogether when they are old enough. Then there’s the names that look similar but are pronounced differently: Mia, Maya, Myah. So before you give your child a name, write down the name and give the paper to your friends. Ask then to say the name. If you get 10 variations from 10 different friends, maybe choose a different name.

6. The Spelling

I mentioned above the gym class I had in which there were 4 girls called Taylor. Only they weren’t. One was Taylor. One was Taylah. Another was Tayla. The last was Tailah. I cannot stress enough how frustrating it is for teachers to come across what should be an easy name to spell and have to ask the child to spell it. It got to the point where I’d ask every child to spell their name, just in case they had an unusual spelling for it, even if their name was something easy like Tim (who knows, maybe they spell it Tym).

7. The Weirdness-Factor

It’s usually the celebrities who like to call their children weird things, like “Apple” and “Blanket” (ok, that’s just a nick name, his real name is Prince Michael II, because Prince Michael was already take by his older brother). But occasionally the regular world people adopt this strange habit and call their child something very bizarre. I think your child will either love it or hate it, there won’t be any middle ground with the weird names. If you like a certain thing (for example, planes) I can almost let you get away with naming your child Jett (like John Travolta did) but not Pilot Inspektor (like Jason Lee did). And Nicholas Cage is clearly a Superman fan as he called his son Kal-el, which is Superman’s birth name.

And why stop at one strange name when you can have a whole raft of them. Bob Geldof has 3 daughters: Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom and Little Pixie. Frank Zappa had 2 sons and 2 daughters: Zweevil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, Moon Unit and Diva Thin Muffin.

Other names that celebrities decided to call their children (some you’ll recognise, some maybe not, all you’ll wonder what drugs they were on when filling out the paperwork) include :

Audio Science

Moxie Crimefighter

Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily

Camera

Puma

8. The Style

Sometimes a name just doesn’t suit a child. I work with children a lot and I have had a few instances where the child just hasn’t suited the name because they don’t look like someone with that name typically does. I know it’s hard to know when your child is born if they are going to suit their name in looks and personality but try to choose a name that suits your child, not you.

9. The Meaning

Mostly, name meanings don’t really signify much but when you have a name that is clearly one thing and the child is clearly the complete opposite then it can be a little strange. An example of this might be if you have a blonde haired, blue eyed, pale skinned girl and name her Ebony.

Place names (especially place of conception) are quite popular at the moment. I am named after a river in Ireland, which is nice, but I wasn’t conceived there or born there. If you begin with this trend, it can be a bit awkward down the track if you conceive of your child in some badly named town like Little Hoboken (which is a perfectly acceptable name for a town, just not, in my opinion, for a child).

Likewise, other trends can start out well, if you name your children after flowers, like my great aunts were, you could end up with Violet, Rose, Olive, Daisy, Rosemary, Ivy … and I could go on. Or maybe you prefer gems: ruby, pearl, jade … Or maybe months of the year are more your thing: April, May, June, August. But if you have an especially large family, keeping the trend going can be difficult, and how sad (or exciting, if you pick a terrible trend) for the last child who misses out on the trend.

10. Tradition

Does your family have a tradition of naming the first child after a certain member of the family? Does the father’s first name become the son’s second name? It can be important to uphold the tradition but it can also be important to stamp your own uniqueness on your child as well. For example, in my family there were, when I was little, three generations of men called “Richard” but only one was known as that. My grandfather was known as Dick (a common nickname for people called Richard during that generation). My uncle was known as Des (short for Desmond, his name being Richard Desmond). My cousin was the only one known as Richard. I quite like the idea of passing names down from generation to generation but also understand that it can lead to confusion and a sense of too many people with the same name, especially if the family is very large.

Whatever you choose to name your child, I hope that it sits well with you, your family and (most importantly) your child. Oh, and congratulations on bringing a new life into the world :D