A Christmas Reminder

This holiday season, don’t forget that people often put on a happy face to save from bringing everyone else down. They don’t want to be the reason you’re Christmas isn’t the most magical it can be, and they don’t want to take you away from the joyousness of ringing in a new year.

But don’t forget that doing this is exhausting and impossible to keep up 24/7. Sometimes the chunks in the armour will show. Sometimes a greeting will be a little rusty. Sometimes the spark just can’t be generated.

So don’t forget: don’t make people feel bad for leaving the party early, or being a bit quiet at work, or just needing some alone time.

Don’t forget that the holiday season can be hard for a lot of people, even if they don’t have anxiety or depression. They may be remembering a loved one who’s no longer around. They may be struggling to make ends meet. They may be missing something they’ve never had.

Don’t forget that we all have our moments when life is just too much. We are overwhelmed by a thought, a situation, a feeling. We can’t always be strong and hopeful and optimistic.

But also don’t forget that they do need you, and it’s not the grand gestures that people need. They do appreciate that you picked up the kids so they could have a shower. They do appreciate that you fielded that call when there’s mountains of paperwork to do. They do appreciate that you thought to invite them, even if they can’t make it. And they appreciate you listening to the story you’ve heard a hundred times before.

So don’t forget, in what can be a very commercialised time of year, that some of the best gifts can’t be bought at the shops. They’re found at the bottom of your heart, wrapped in love and tied with the strings that bind us together.

And, lastly, don’t forget to spread your gifts throughout the year because while this time of year is special in so many ways, it doesn’t mean you aren’t special every single day and you have the power to spread that gift whenever and wherever you so choose.

Dear Santa ... from my 34 year old self

It's about this time of year that many people start thinking about Christmas. Little children get excited about the thought of Santa visiting, carols start being heard more often and decorations begin to deck the halls of shopping centres ...

This year, my son decided that he wanted to do a list for Santa. He's at the age where I'm not sure if he still believes in Santa or whether he's just playing along for more presents. Either way, his list is pretty much the standard for a child of 9. It's toys and DVDs and games. It's what he wants. He hasn't developed a sense of social want or need just yet. Don't get me wrong, he's a caring, compassionate child but things like world peace and starving children in Africa don't cross his mind on a day-to-day basis, only when he's confronted with it.

So here's my letter to Santa, with 25 extra years of knowledge and experience behind it ...

Dear Santa,

I don't need anything from you for Christmas this year. I have everything material I could ever want that would fit in that sack of yours. I somehow don't think that the house of my dreams and enough money to keep it running is really something you do.

So instead of material possessions, I'd like to ask for a little Christmas magic, something you can't buy in stores or make in a factory staffed by elves.

I'd like to ask for patience, compassion and understanding.

I'd like to ask for serenity and peace.

I'd like to ask for love.

I'm sure you could package up just a little of each for every man, woman and child on earth, and fill their hearts with joy. If everyone could see how it is for others, if they could extend a hand in assistance instead of throwing a fist in anger, if they could open their hearts and minds to all that is wonderful and beautiful in this world, the world might be a happier, more peaceful place and a greater world for our children to grow up in.

While you're delivering the presents to the girls and boys around the world, don't forget the little bag of magic. It's the most important present of all.

Yours sincerely,

A mother wanting a better future for her child

The Commercialisation of Love and Religion

Let’s get something straight, I’m only a fan of Valentine’s Day when I’m in a relationship (to date this has happened a grand total of two times). For a die hard romantics, this is somewhat of a struggle. I like the idea of valentines. That is, sending an anonymous card or gift to someone asking them to be your valentine. I think it is very sweet. I also like the idea of having someone you care about showing you how much they care about you. I don’t think it’s something that needs to be heralded in by trumpets or splashed across the front page of the newspaper. Romance, for me, is about being swept off your feet. It’s not about the telling of the sweeping to anyone with half an ear.

Western society has taken commercialization just about as far as it can go. Shops have sales and specials to mark evry occasion known to man, and when they’re done they just seem to make them up. Merchandise for the various holidays and events throughout the year is ridiculous, with the pencils and toys and lollies and books and cards and balloons and underwear all shouting out, “look, I remembered, aren’t I wonderful?” In reality, I don’t need all those things. In fact, I don’t need any. All I want for Valentine’s Day is for someone to say, “I Love You.”

Don’t get the wrong impression. I am not against people giving their loved ones presents. I am just fundamentally jealous of the fact that they’ve found someone and I haven’t. I also feel like it’s being rubbed in my face, usually not deliberately but it’s still there, that feeling like all those people are parading around like five year olds and showing off how tremendously loved they are.

There is also the commercial pressure saying, “if you really love your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife/partner then you’ll buy them this incredibly expensive item that they don’t really need.” Nothing says I love you like a 14 carat diamond ring, does it? I mean, really, what happened to a moonlit stroll along the beach or a candlelit dinner.

The same thing goes for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas and New Year. They have all lost that spirit that makes them special. They have become over-commercialised and cheap. It’s no longer good enough for kids to make their parents a present, it now has to be something the other parent has to spend a fortune on.

Easter and Christmas have veered so far away from the religious traditions that if you ask most kids what the meaning of christmas is they’ll say “getting presents” or “Santa Claus”. I know we live in a multi-cultural society but what other religion would allow the non-believers to co-opt their significant festivals. Living in a western, predominantly Christian society, it beggars belief that the people who move here from other countries and cultures have the nerve to demand that Christmas and Easter celebrations be watered down and have the Christian elements of these holidays removed. If a westerner went to a predominantly muslim society and demanded that they make ramadam more friendly to non-islamic citizens, they’d either be laughed at or run out of town. Likewise, if the Jewish community were not allowed to celebrate Hannuka in it’s traditional way it would be classified as anti-semitic (and rightly so). So why is it ok to railroad Christian traditions?

The point I am trying to make is that by trying to sell festivals and holidays to a wider market you run the risk of loosing the meaning behind the festival or holiday. If you celebrate Christmas, do so for the right reasons, not just to get a present. If you’re not Christian, by all means celebrate the Christmas period but don’t deny the reason why the holiday exists in the first place. Just because you believe in a different God doesn’t give you the right to impose it on someone else. If you want to celebrate Valentine’s Day, that’s awesome but St Valentine is the patron saint of lovers, not crass commercialisation, so show your loved one how much you love them in a heartfelt way, by telling them you love them.