Just do it yourself ...

I was thinking about what to write for my next blog post the other night and as I was skimming through people's posts on Facebook when I found an article that someone had read about the controversy over a picture an advertising company had used. I won't get into the details for two reasons: one is that I'm still going to write a post about that subject, the other is that the content of the picture or the controversy isn't important. The important thing is what happened next. I asked a certain subset of my Facebook friends to help me out with my post by supplying annectdotes or things they had come across which either supported or refuted my hypothesis. Now the subset I'm talking about isn't huge but they are usually quite a vocal bunch, like to add their two cents worth, so I expected at least a couple to reply. I got nothing. Not a single reply. I will admit, I sometimes ask questions at the wrong time of day and my requests get lost in the multitude of other Facebook posts that fill people's news feeds. I thought I'd done quite well with the timing of this one though. I think if I do ask again I will do it as a personal message and I wasn't all that fussed at not getting any replies. I did make me think if this was a gender thing (as I had asked only males to respond) or if it was a general indication of the lack of inclination to help others. I have always given an opinion or anecdote when asked. It's not that I think my opinion or story is any better than anyone else's, or that everyone should listen to it, I just think I have the right to a voice. Whether anyone is listening is beside the point. That is a lesson I learnt very early ... As a teenager in fact. Back then I was an aspiring poet, wanting my friends to read my work, to give feedback and validation. It didn't happen, of course. I'd ask and they'd feel like I was forcing them to read it so they wouldn't. I didn't really think I was forcing them. I thought I was doing exactly what my other poetically minded friends were doing. The difference was, I forgot it was a popularity contest when you're a teenager. I thought what's good for one is good for all. Sorry, kids, it isn't. If you want people to read your work, give it to an adult. Your friends don't care about your musings. They are too self absorbed, just like you are. So, I was once again transported to my teen angst as a 32 year old, and nothing much had changed. People are still self absorbed and it's still a popularity contest. The only difference between now and then is that I don't care. As a teenager, the rejection I felt was like a knife through my heart. It was the end of my world and my self belief took and almighty tumble. These days, it doesn't bother me. It's a quirk of life that somedays you'll be the bees knees and somedays you're the pigs arse. It's not the end of the world. It doesn't mean you're stupid or your question is invalid. It's just that people are too busy with their own lives to worry about some inconsequential query you may have. The lesson here is, it never hurts to ask for help but don't fly on the answer bing what you want or even for there to be an answer at all. If you want information about something, research it yourself, don't expect other people do your homework for you ... Just do it yourself.