Is this what we are teaching our children?

I recently posted the following on my Facebook page:

In the end, we must strive for our capacity to love to be the thing for which we are remembered, not our capacity to hate and to hurt.

The very next day I was confronted by the news of a shocking image that was posted to twitter. The picture was that of a young boy holding the head of a decapitated soldier.

Is this what we are teaching our children?

Are we allowing them to continue to hate and despise for the simple reason that this is what we have always done? At what point do we say enough is enough? If we wish for future generations to live in peace then we must take the first step. Not just individually but collectively. Every mother, every father, every citizen must make a conscious decision to not allow our children to grow up with hate in their heart.

We need to pass on uplifting ideals, such as tolerance and acceptance. We need to produce future leaders who have sympathy, empathy and compassion. We need to create a world that is free from the hostility, greed and disrespect that is so pervasive in society right now. So I return my thoughts to those I opened with: Do I show my son my capacity for love or do I teach him that hate is normal and to hurt others is ok?

I would like to think that it is the former, rather than the latter. I hope that my son, who is not much older than the boy which was pictured in the image which disturbed me so greatly, grows up to be a well-rounded, generous, caring citizen of the world. Still, my heart weeps for the children of fathers who proudly display such pictures and who fill their childhood with an unbridled hate which I cannot behin to fathom.

I don't want to shed another tear for another child consumed by their parents hate and I don't want my child to shed a tear for another child in a generations time.

Can someone explain to me why I must? Or why my child must?

Because I do not understand at all.

Oh, Captain. My Captain.

Death comes to us all. Some go quickly. Some linger. Some step, unknowing, into the void. And some, for whatever reason, take it upon themselves to decide the method and the timing.

I almost wasn't going to write this. When i woke to the news this morning that one of the greatest actors I had ever had the pleasure of viewing had dies, apparently by his own hand, I vowed that I would not be just another blogger writing about another celebrity death. Yet here I am. Writing.

It's nearly the end of the day as I write this. I've spent most of the day thinking about my own experiences with depression, and the experiences of my friends. I have battle this demon for a long time. Despite the general perception, suicide is not the easy way out. If it were, I wouldn't be here.

Today I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am not depressed. I am most definitely sad, but I am not depressed. This is not to say I am cured. I cannot give assurances for tomorrow, next week, next month or next year. I'm not sure I will ever be cured. To use a medical phrase: Today, I am asymptomatic.

My sadness is, naturally, coloured by my experiences. It stems from an understanding that there, but for the grace of God, go I. And by God, I mean chance or fate or destiny or whatever turn of phrase you choose to employ. My sadness is filled with a fans adoration, a writers admiration and a depressives anticipation of what may, one day, be my own undoing.

I know who would know real loss. His family. His friends. Their loss I cannot know. Their grief I cannot share. This does not make the tears I shed, even as I write this, any less real but they are tears of sadness, not tears of love lost too soon.

Robins battles with alcohol and drugs have been well reported. His battle with depression equally so. The lifelong battle faced by Robin and millions of others worldwide shows one simple fact about depression: It does not discriminate. Age, wealth, location, social standing, friends and family mean little when it comes to depression. You may look at someone and think, 'what have they got to be depressed about, they have everything.' It's never about what you have. It's about how you feel. There lies the irony: Material possessions are immaterial when it comes to mental health.

Being alone isn't so bad. It can be quite nice to be alone with your thoughts. Being lonely is a completely different thing altogether. You can be surrounded by people and still feel totally isolated. Trying to reach someone on the outside can be painful and defeating, but trying to reach someone on the inside of their own mind can be equally terrifying. This doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Each and every day you should try.

Not just big ideas or carefully-chosen words. Every idea has power, no matter how small. Every word has power, no matter how trivial. Tell your partner you love them for no other reason that it's true. Send those birthday wishes to the friend you haven't seen in years. Take those clothes that no longer fit to the op shop. Volunteer an hour of your time to a charity. Just one hour. Pick any charity. And don't be afraid to be exactly who you're meant to be.

Whether it's making a fool out of yourself in front of your kids, helping a friend fulfil their crazy dream, being unique and off the wall and special and crazy and deadly serious and hilarious and a daredevil - keep your spark. Fan it occasionally. Make sure it never goes out.

Robin once said, "I believe in destiny. There must be a reason I am as I am. There must be." I wonder if he every discovered the reason. I wonder how many of us ever do. I think, by nature, we are far more adept at seeing the purpose in other people than we are in seeing it in ourselves.

It's times like this that I wish heaven existed so I could pray for Robin to read this over my shoulder. Not because it's particularly well written or because it speaks to people - neither of these things matter - and not because it would bring him back - it wouldn't. I would want him to read this because for me, the reason he was as he was is crystal clear.

Through all the many laughs, the extraordinary speeches, the tearful goodbyes; through the ups and downs and twists and turns; through the characters we've loved, the stand up routines we've craved and the humanity you've shown: Through all of this the reason shines through - to show me that it's ok to be me.

Rest in peace, my captain. May your legacy be more than you ever dreamed it could be.

If you, or someone you know is suffering from depression or any other mental health issues, please seek help from one of the institutions listed below, or in an emergency call 000.

Beyond Blue

www.beyondblue.org.au

1300 22 4636

Lifeline

www.lifeline.org.au

13 11 14

Kids Help Line

www.kidshelp.com.au

1800 55 1800

Please note: the above relate to Australia organisations, for information on local help centres in your area please contact your GP or go to the World Federation for Mental Health website (www.wfmh.com/links/external-contacts/international-organizations).