Swans Loyal: Part One

There are plenty of people who have pulled on the red and white to play for the South Melbourne/Sydney Swans but in this modern age of trades and back room deals, club loyalty stands out a mile. It’s nice for us, as fans who are loyal through ups and downs, to see players who will celebrate the wins and struggle through the losses just like us. This installment deals with those who have played for the Swans for at least ten seasons and ended their career in Sydney. Further installments will deal with those who ended their career prior to the move from South Melbourne and those who came from other clubs to call the Swans home. It has been my privilege to see many of the players listed below in action on multiple occasions. I hope that the current crop of players who are on this list stay loyal to the end, which I’m sure they will, and so, without further ado … from most recent to past greats … the Swans loyal  …

Tadhg Kennelly

2001 – 2008; 2010 – date (10 seasons)

Courtesy of writer's own collection

Tadhg was recruited from Irish Gaelic Football team, Kerry, in 1999 and made his senior AFL debut in 2001. He won many fans with his Irish charm and was the first Irishman to win an AFL Premiership Medal when he played with the Swans in their 4 point win over West Coast in 2005. There had been speculation that Tadhg would return to play in Ireland to follow in his father’s footsteps and win an All-Ireland Senior Football Championship medal and never was this more fervent than following his father’s sudden death at age 51 in December 2005, despite a year remaining on Tadhg’s contract with the Swans but he ended the speculation in August 2006 by signing a 3 year contract with the swans.

During the 2007 and 2008 season, Tadhg suffered a run of injuries, including leg and should injuries, which set back his AFL career. An anterior cruciate ligament tear in 2007 and a dislocated kneecap in 2008 caused him to reassess his career and in January of 2009 he announced he would return to Ireland and play Gaelic football for his native county, Kerry.

Tadhg played in the Gaelic National Football League and earned a spot in the All-Ireland Senior Football Championship, playing for Kerry, in June 2009 after their team was ravaged by injuries. Despite an injury during the qualifying series he took the field as a substitute in the All-Ireland quarter-final against Dublin and made such an impression that he was named in the starting team for the semi-final in which Kerry beat Meath.

On 20 September 2009 he played the first 50 minutes of the All-Ireland final, scoring 2 points and becoming the first person to win an AFL premiership and an All-Ireland Senior Football Championship. Following controversy after a supposed misquote by the ghost writer of his autobiography Kennelly signed a two year deal with the Sydney Swans, marking his return to the AFL in 2010.

Personal Reflections: Seeing Tadhg standing on the stage to receive his premiership medal, having it hung round his neck and him facing the crowd and do his version of an Irish jig made the Irish in me swell with pride (even if it is only about 1/8^th of me). Seeing him do it again the next morning at the team presentation, quite hung over, was very amusing.

Ryan O’Keefe

2000 – date (12 seasons)

Courtesy of The Telegraph

Recruited from the Calder Cannons Ryan has been a solid player for the swans since his debut in 2000. He played in the winning 2005 Grand Final team and in 2006 again played in the Grand Final as well as gaining selection on the All-Australian team.

Like many players who travel from their Victorian homes to play interstate, they occasionally get homesick. Ryan announced that he wanted to go home, to play for one of the Victorian teams, and knocked back a three year contract with the swans. However, a trade was not forthcoming and Ryan decided not to run the risk of the draft as their were three non-Victorian teams with draft picks ahead of any Victorian team. He later signed a 4 year contract with the Swans and in 2009 he won the Bob Skilton Medal. After initially worrying that the fans might not accept him back into the team he has taken on a role in the leadership group and the fans have understood his desire to go home.

Personal Reflections: I’ve met Ryan a few times over the years and he is a quiet, reserved kind of a guy. He’s not your typical footballer personality, not in public anyway. This is not to say he has no personality. At one time he hosted a cooking segment on Channel Ten’s “Seriously AFL” and writes “Ryan’s Recipes” for the Swans website. It’s nice to see a player who doesn’t need or want the alcohol- and/or drug-fuelled recklessness that so catch out so many promising players.

Jude Bolton

1999 – date (13 seasons)

Courtesy of writer's own collection

Jude was recruited from the Calder Cannons and soon became a hit with the young girls, myself included. I still have my jumper with his number lovingly sewn on the back from 1999. His career has coincided with my membership of the club, perhaps why I feel such an affinity towards him. Despite his pretty-boy image, Jude is a hard player and isn’t afraid to get dirty.

In 2007 Jude won the AFL Community Leadership Award in recognition of his charitable works, especially with the homeless. Jude once said, "Getting out among the street people is an eye-opener and a pretty humbling experience. You get to meet a few interesting characters … We're very lucky to have a lifestyle because of our jobs, so it's good to get out there and give something back."

Personal Reflections: My friends and I have always had a giggle about Jude, especially when it comes to him kicking goals. It has now become a ritual that one of us crosses ourselves father-son-and-holy-ghost-style (it is usually me, but I always get reminded to do it if I forget or blamed if I don’t do it and he misses). There’s just something about mid-fielders sneaking forward to kick goals. The other thing we have a giggle about is how long it will take before his pristine jumper is caked in mud. However, as much as we tease Jude, we love him to bits and feel like we’ve been through a lot together.

Adam Goodes

1999 – date (13 seasons)

Courtesy of writer's own collection

Where do I start with Adam? In 1999, his debut season, he was outstanding and deserving winner on the Rising Star Award. Things only got better from there. In 2003 he as named for the first time in the All-Australian Team, won the Bob Skilton Medal and won the Brownlow Medal. He backed up the All-Australian selection and Brownlow win in 2006, as well as playing in the 2006 Grand Final loss to West Coast.

Adam was played instrumental roles in both the successful 2005 Grand Final campaign and the 2006 loss. His ability to lead on the field has been duly rewarded with a position in the leadership group for many years and with Co-Captaincy since 2009.

Demonstrating a leadership quality off the field as well has defined Adam as one of the good-guys of Australian Football. He and his good friend Michael O'Loughlin helped to start an indigenous football academy. In 2009 they launched the Goodes O'Loughlin Foundation which aims at empowering the next generation of Indigenous role models. Adam and Michael co-Chair the Foundation, which focuses on education, employment and healthy lifestyles for indigenous youth.

Personal Reflections: Adam is another player that I feel like I’ve grown up with. It was beautiful to see him in 2003 at the Brownlow Medal Ceremony, having no girlfriend in tow, instead bringing his mum to share the night and, ultimately, his victory. Adam is not only one of my favourite players of all time, he is one of my favourite people and I think he will always be thus.

Brett Kirk

1999 – 2010 (12 seasons)

Courtesy of writer's own collection

Nicknamed “Captain Kirk” (in reference to popular sci-fi character Captain James T. Kirk of Star Trek fame) and “Captain Blood” (in reference to the clubs former nickname of “blood stained angels” or “bloods” for short) Brett was one of the finest captains the Swans have ever known.

Recruited from North Albury he debuted in 1999 and went on to win just about every accolade available. He was named on the All-Australian team in 2004, won the Bob Skilton Medal in 2005 and 2007, played in the 2005 Grand Final victory and the 2006 defeat. This also marked his first year of Co-Captaincy, which continued until his retirement in 2010. He was given the AFLPA Robert Rose Award (League's Most Courageous Player) in 2006, the Paul Kelly Players’ Player Award in 2008, the AFLPA Madden Medal (Community Spirit Award) and the AFLPA Best Captain Award 2010.

Brett is beloved by not only the players and fans from his own team, but respected by other teams, coaches and fans. His down to earth attitude, coupled with his tenacity as a player, was the hallmark of his playing career and he has been honoured by being selected in 2011 as the AFL Ambassador Youth Mentor, the AFL International Cup Ambassador and the AFL Premiership Cup Ambassador.

He finished his career with 1278 tackles, which remains the record today. His ability to get the ball in tight contests proved pivotal in many games and he certainly led by example. Now that he’s finished his playing career he’s taking that same leadership quality to his new position and will continue to do the Swans proud no matter what direction his life path may take.

Personal Reflections: Brett will always be remembered as Captain Kirk, a name given to him before he even took on the position but I think that, rather than any specific memory of him playing (though there are so many wonderful ones), what I will always remember is his smile. It is the smile of a true champion, of someone who has seen the best and the worst of the human character on that field, and of someone who gave his all with grace and determination.

Michael O’Loughlin

1995 – 2009 (15 seasons)

Courtesy of writer's own collection

Recruited from the Central Districts in South Australia and making his senior debut in 1995, I’m sure no-one would have guessed what a magnificent player the Swans had unearthed. In only his second season he played in the 1996 losing Grand Final against North Melbourne. In 1997 he was selected for the All-Australian team, and again in 2000. in 1998 he won the Bob Skilton Medal and the Fos Williams Medal which is awarded to the best player from South Australia in an inter-state competition such as State of Origin.

Michael was given the nickname “Magic”, some say because of his ability to cast a spell over the opposition, and he certainly lived up to it. He was a critical member of the 2005 Grand Final win and the 2006 Grand Final loss, as well as every other game he played. One could never accuse Michael of giving less than his all, and then some, every time he stepped out onto the park.

Michael is one of the most decorated Indigenous Australian players in the history of the Australian Football League. He was named a member of the Indigenous Team of the Century, was only the third player with Indigenous heritage to play 300 AFL games (as well as the club’s first player ever to reach the milestone) and won two Deadlys: Outstanding Achievement in AFL (for his 2005 premiership season) and Male Sportsperson of the Year (for his unceasing efforts on field and off in 2009).

He has also been awarded the 2009 AFL Players’ Association Madden for his on and off-field contributions to the game, including the launching of the Goodes O'Loughlin Foundation, along with his good friend & co-Chairman Adam Goodes.

Personal Reflections: Michael was an amazing player and is an amazing person. Every time I have met him he has restored my faith in footballers with his gregarious personality and infectious attitude. I have nothing but respect and admiration for the man. I am hard-pressed to pick one moment from his career that warrants a mention more than any other moment so I am going to recall a moment I shared with him following the 2005 Grand Final win. It was the following morning. We fans were all down at South Melbourne’s old stomping ground for the team presentation. We’d gotten there early and had front row positions. The players arrived, looking a bit worse for wear, many sporting sunglasses (including Mickey). They were presented and then came down to sign a few autographs before being shepherded onto the bus to take them back to the airport for more of the same in Sydney. Mickey made his way around the fence line, signing autographs along the way, until he came to my friend and I. We asked him how he was feeling that morning. He looked at us over the top of his sunglasses, perched on the end of his nose, smiled a kind of a half-smile and said (in a rather croaky voice), “Just fine.”

Leo Barry

1995 – 2009 (15 seasons)

Courtesy of writer's own collection

Leaping Leo earned his nickname by being able to somehow defy the laws of gravity (and probably a few other laws of physics) to launch himself high into the air and mark the ball. I suppose when you’re not the tallest of defenders and ability to leap higher than your opponent can reach is a terrific asset and at only 184cm (yes, only!) he quite often played of forwards who towered over him, usually by at least 10-15cm.

Leo’s remarkable ability is showcased by two games. The first is the 2004 clash with St Kilda. Leo was matched with the massive, 196cm tall Fraser Gehrig. Despite giving away 12cm in height and 15kg in weight, Leo kept the full forward scoreless and limited him to only two possessions, both handballs. This is not just amazing because of the size difference but because Gehrig went on to claim the 2004 Coleman Medal, which is awarded to the player who kicks the most goals in the regular season each year.

However, it is the second game that will go down in Swans Club legend, if not AFL legend. Let me set the scene. It is the 2005 Grand Final. The swans have been locked in an agonising battle against West Coast for the entrie game. There is less than a minute to go and the swans are ahead by 4 points. Dean Cox, a West Coast player, has the ball. He knows that a mark in the forward line could win West Coast the game. He send the ball flying down into the forward line and the pack of players fly. The crowd are going nuts. From the pack emerges Leo Barry, ball in hand. He has taken what is the most memorable single mark ever in the history of Swans games and by taking it ensure the Swans first Premiership win in 72 years.

Personal Reflections: I could reflect on how it felt being there are the MCG in 2005, behind the goals that Leo took that mark in front of, but I won’t. What I will reflect on is the first time I met Leo. It was at a Barrassi BBQ (ah, the good old days). Leo and a few of the other players were sitting upstairs over-looking Randwick Racecourse. Being eager, young autograph hunters, my friend and I decided to go up and see if they’d be willing to sign our books. We politely asked and Leo took my book. He signed it and, as he passed it to the player next to him, said, “Give her your phone number.” That cheeky sense of humour is what I will always remember about Leo. Oh, and that mark, of course.

Daryn Cresswell

1992 – 2003 (12 seasons)

Courtesy of The Age

Recruited from North Hobart, Daryn played his first senior game in 1992. His outstanding playing career, which included the Bob Skilton Medal in 1994, playing in the 1996 Grand Final and being selected in the All-Australian team in 1997, has been marred since his retirement by off field activities.

In 2009 he declared bankruptcy, owing almost $700,000, admitting that gambling had become an addiction since retiring from football. That same year Cresswell was arrested and charged in relation to with fraud offences that were allegedly committed in Queensland.

Personal Reflections: I was recently reminded of an incident involving Daryn during a 1997 game against Geelong (thanks Dean Edwards). Thinking back I remember him sitting on the ground, having just layed a crucial tackle, holding his dislocated knee and then proceeding to smack it back into position. The pain must have been excruciating. The mental and physical fortitude to then back up the next week is incredible by anyone’s standards and it should be this attitude, rather than his off-field indiscretions, for which he should be remembered.

To watch the video of Daryn relocating his kneecap follow the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNP5HG1zN8w

Andrew Dunkley

1991 – 2002 (12 seasons)

Courtesy of The Age

Dunkley was one of the first players that I’d seen made defending seem cool. As far back as I can remember, there was Dunkley in the back line, holding strong and saving many a goal. He was a hard player, being seen at the tribunal on more than one occasion, but he was a great leveller for the club, a father-figure to the younger players in the latter stages of his career, though his hard-man approach did nearly cost him a spot in the 1996 Grand Final.

In their after the siren victory over Essendon, Dunkley was reported for striking James Hird and was set to miss the Grand Final though suspension. The Swans went to the Supreme Court and had his ban put on hold so he could play. Unfortunately, it didn’t matter in the end, with Swans going down to North Melbourne 19.17.131 to 13.10.88.

Personal Reflections: I remember as a teenager, Dunkley was one of my favourite players of the mid-90s. I think it was the hair. I was very superficial back then. I also remember that I was always surprised when Dunks kicked a goal. Well, considering he player over 200 games and only scored 10 goals, his ventures up forward were somewhat limited but always exciting as you never knew if he was going to get it.

Dale Lewis

1990 – 2001 (12 seasons)

Courtesy of Triple M Radio

Dale was recruited from North Ballarat and debuted in 1990. He was instrumental in the run to the 1996 Grand Final and played good, consistent football. It’s a shame that his post retirement remarks about drugs in the AFL have somewhat soured the perception of him. Dale was an exciting player with flair and style.

Personal Reflections: I am not sure what to say about Dale. He was a loyal player, you can't be at a club for as long as he was without feeling some sort of connection to the club, the people, the fans. I know there is a lot of debate about what Dale did and said and this is not the place for that argument. I really enjoyed watching Dale play and that's where I will leave that subject.

Paul Kelly

1990 – 2002 (13 seasons)

Courtesy of the Herald Sun

Kels was recruited from Wagga Wagga and first played in 1990. A mere three years later he was appointed Captain of the team. His ability to lead and his general football ability were outstanding from the beginning and it’s no wonder that he has become the iconic captain that we all love and admire.

Paul won an amazing four Bob Skilton Medals (1992, 1993, 1996 and 1997), won the Brownlow in 1995 and made the All-Australian team on three occasions (1995, 1996 as captain and 1997 as captain) but it was Kels courage as a player that stood out. He was the recipient of the AFLPA Robert Rose Award for Most Courageous Player in 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997 and 2000 and, to this day, is known as Captain Courageous.

Kels played in the 1996 Grand Final defeat and it’s tragic that he never got to taste that sweet success, however, he was given the honour of presenting the Premiership Cup to then coach Paul Roos and then captain Barry Hall after the 2005 Grand Final victory.

In 2007 he was inducted into the Australian Football Hall of Fame and has the Swans annual Players’ Player Award named after him.

Personal Reflections: Again, how do you pick one moment from such an outstanding career? I think the most poignant memory is that of Kels presenting the Brownlow Medal to former teammate Adam Goodes in 2006. Seeing two greats of the club together like that is great motivation for the club and a fitting tribute to both players.

Mark Bayes

1985 – 1998 (14 seasons)

Courtesy of the Sydney Morning Herald

Recruited from Noble Park, Mark debut with the Swans in 1985 and soon established himself as a consistent player at either end of the ground. He genuinely was a jack-of-all-trades when it came to footy. Despite playing mostly in the backline, he was more than capable of making forays into the midfield and front line. Given the opportunity, he showed himself to be a good goalkicker, booting many goals in his career.

His ability to play anywhere on the ground contributed to his selection in the Swans “Team of the Century”. He was awarded the Bob Skilton Medal in 1989 and played in the 1996 Grand Final loss to North Melbourne. It should also be noted that Mark suffered very few injuries over the space of his 12 seasons at the Swans and even late in his career when niggling injuries could have gotten the better of him he continued to play consistent and influential football.

Personal Reflections: I always feel for the Swans players who were in the 1996 Grand Final defeat but retired before the 2005 victory. To come so close and come away without the Premiership must be heartbreaking. I think, though, Mark showed such a great resilience throughout his entire career and despite not being one of the “superstar” players, or perhaps because of it, he made a significant impact on many games.

David Murphy

1984 – 1993 (10 seasons)

Courtesy of the Sydney Swans

David could well have ended up playing for Geelong instead of the Swans had it not been for a fortuitous work transfer to Wagga Wagga (part of the Swans catchment area). A top player on the wing, David was rewarded with selection in the All-Australian team in 1988 and was consistently an influential player for the Swans throughout his career.

The Swans proved that they valued David’s loyalty when, after finding getting to training on time due to work commitments was becoming increasingly difficult, they helped him find alternate employment with a Swans supporter. Loyalty is best kept when it is a two way street and this is surely the best proof.

Personal Reflections: It’s great to see players who could have upped and left after the move to Sydney remain in the Habour City, and David is one of those who has not only remained but prospered. He recalled being a “very, very proud Swan” after the 2005 Grand Final victory and currently takes pride in watching his son play as a top up player for the Swans Reserves.

Dennis Carrol

1981 – 1993 (13 seasons)

Courtesy of the Sydney Swans

Originally from the Riverina District of New South Wales, Dennis is one of the longest serving Captains of the club, serving in the position for seven of his thirteen seasons. Dennis was a terrific leader of the club, both on and off the field, showing guts and determination each and every week.

After playing his first year with South Melbourne, he made the move with the Swans to Sydney and has been an integral part of the club ever since, even post retirement as a player. Dennis spent four years as the Swans Reserves coach, was the chairman of the Swans Match Committee and is currently the Player Welfare & Development Manager. The Swans award for Most Improved is also named in his honour.

Personal Reflections: Though I may not always agree with Dennis’ reading of situations, I have never been one to question his dedication and loyalty to the club which has been a part of his life for 30 years. I think that he has repaid the Swans belief in him and the Swans have repaid his loyalty towards them and they will hopefully continue to reward each other for many years to come.

Stephen Wright

1979 – 1992 (14 seasons)

Courtesy of Sydney Swans

Recruited from Oakleigh Districts, Stephen played his first senior game in 1979 and, despite playing with many “superstar”, he played an integral part in the team. Predominantly playing as a rover, Stephen was dangerous in front of goal, never took a backward step when it came to attacking the ball. It was this drive and dedication to the team that won him the Bob Skilton Medal in 1985 and 1990.

Stephen was also modest, however, and was shocked at being inducted into the Swans Hall of Fame. Wright explained that he was ‘embarrassed’ by the inclusion because “I never saw myself as a star player. Short (171cm) and light (73kg), I was more a battler than anything else. Besides, I didn’t have fantastic skills.”

Personal Reflections: It’s rare for players to show their emotions but when television cameras caught Steve crying outside the Lake Oval believing that his beloved club would fold, it not only showed the depth of feeling Stephen had towards football but towards the club he held so dear. Luckily, the move to Sydney saved the club, and the careers of many players, and we in the Harbour City are eternally grateful.

Tony Morwood

1978 – 1989 (12 seasons)

Courtesy of the Sydney Swans

Recruited from Noble Park, Tony played in the red and white along side brothers, Paul and Shane for many years but when the club made the move north to Sydney Paul elected to move to St Kilda and Shane moved to Collingwood, leaving Tony with the agonising decision of staying in Victoria with his family or moving with the Swans to their new home in Sydney.

In the end Tony happily made the decision to stay loyal to the club which had given him his start and went on to become one of the greatest half-forwards the club has even had. Tony was a very agile player often weaving out of trouble but was equally at home in the air and developed a reputation as a superb aerialist.

Personal Reflections: Despite playing in Tasmania and then Victoria following his retirement from senior football, Tony returned to the Swans as part of the Melbourne office and is now the manager of the club’s Melbourne operations. I think the fact that former players feel such affection towards their former club that they will follow them interstate should be acknowledged as one of the most beautiful things in football. It would have been so easy for Tony to remain in Victoria, as his brothers did, yet he showed dedication to his club and they have duly rewarded his loyalty and relish having him back in the fold.

Mark Browning

1975 – 1987 (13 seasons)

Courtesy of the Sydney Swans

Mark was signed under the father-son rule as his father, Keith, had played for the Swans between 1951 and 1954, though things could have turned out very differently if North Melbourne and Fitzroy had had their way. Both clubs had laid claim to the young Mark but, as Mark himself said, “Both North and Fitzroy were wasting their time as I only wanted to play for South and I made my debut with the Swans in 1975.”

His learning curve was rapid, thanks to then coach Ian Stewart putting him on some of the most influential opposition players each week. Mark took some hard knocks, including a broken leg, but a never-say-die attitude brought him through his first few years at the club and turned him into a strong leader, taking on the vice-captaincy for many years, including during the pivotal time of the club’s move north.

In the years following the move, Mark won the Bob Skilton Medal (1983) and was promoted to captain for the 1983 and 1984 seasons, though the modest and versatile player was happy to just be part of the leadership group.

Personal Reflections: Mark is the player who best represents both incarnations of our Club. He not only has the distinction of having played 100 games for South Melbourne, he also played 100 games for the Sydney, and is the only player in the club’s history to do so. I think those players who did make the trek north to Sydney should hold a special place in the heart of all Swans fans, especially those who spent a considerably more time in South Melbourne than they did in Sydney, such as Mark.

Colin Hounsell

1975 – 1985 (11 seasons)

Courtesy of The Sydney Swans

Few footballers have shown as much loyalty to the Swans as this former midfielder, who twice rejected offers to join other clubs. The first was a controversial deal by Collingwood who claimed Colin as part of a trade for Robert Dean (whom the Swans had signed over the summer) but Colin refused to play for anyone but the Swans (then still in South Melbourne). The second offer came from Carlton after Colin had decided to move away from senior football and had played a stint in the South Australian league. On deciding to return to the seniors, and despite the offer from Carlton, Colin stated, ““If I return to Victoria, I’ll play for the Swans.”

Colin’s loyalty was again tested when the club made the move to Sydney but he showed the club where his heart lay and stayed with the club. Now living in Queensland, Colin regularly attends club reunions, has stayed friends with many of the players who made the transition from South Melbourne to Sydney and follows the fortunes of the current players with interest.

Personal Reflections: Though I never saw Colin play, I find that his attitude pervades the club still. The Swans, more so than many other teams, manage to instill a sense of loyalty in their players and the fans have come to expect it.

For anyone interested in the Goodes O’Loughlin Foundation, head to the following website:

http://www.go-foundation.org/

And thank you to the Swans loyal fan base for helping put together the names for inclusion here, your contributions were most gratefully received.

Gender and Sexuality

I know that a lot of people will disagree with my opinion and I am fine with that. Everyone is welcome to their opinion. I will be upfront, and if you’ve read any of my other posts you will know this already, I do not believe in God as such. I am spiritual but not religious. I have not seen, heard, felt proof of God’s existence and am sceptical of the existence of an external omnipotent being judging me for what I believe or how I act.

I believe that sexuality and gender both have a spectrum and each individual falls somewhere along the spectrum. I think at this point it’s important to define the difference between sexuality and gender. Gender is your physical sex: male, female, androgynous, hermaphrodite. Sexuality is what you feel attracted to: heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual. It is where there two cross over or are in opposition to each other that we come up with the rainbow of diversity: transgender or transsexual are the predominant examples of this.

I wonder about what it is gender and sexuality that makes people so uptight. I’ve never understood why someone else’s sexual preference or how they choose to identify themselves is anyone’s business but their own. I know people hide behind religion, use it as proof of their beliefs, but I also know plenty of religious people who believe that God loves all his children equally regardless of gender identity or sexual persuasion.

The statement that really winds me up about this whole topic is that the people who are against anything that is not heterosexual and anyone who is not easily identifiable as male or female based on anatomical structure often say that it is a choice. There is only the choice of whether to reveal your gender dimorphism/sexual orientation or not. I don’t know whether it’s genetic. If it is genetic, I don’t think there is one specific gene that controls it. I think it is probably a combination of genes and identifying that combination could take scientists a lifetime, if not more.

So, my advice to anyone who believes that anything other than heterosexual activity is a sin and that there is no such thing as gender confusion is this: if you keep the peace so will I. I may not agree with what you think but it’s your right to think it. If you tell me I’m going to hell for my opinion, well, then we’re going to have problems.

If after reading this (assuming you don’t know me and haven’t read any of my other posts) you may well hazard a guess that I am perhaps a lesbian. It wouldn’t be the first time. I am happily heterosexual with no desire to change that at any point in the future. The point is, just because I am happy that way doesn’t mean everyone is going to be the same.

Whatever gender you identify with, whatever your sexual preference, I hope you find happiness within yourself and with a life-partner (or several, if that’s your thing).

Bullying

Bullying comes in a variety of forms (social, emotional, physical) but the results are often the same. There is a distinct lack of self-esteem, which can persist well into adulthood and sometimes throughout an entire lifetime. There can also be backlash behaviours such as acting out or “passing on” the bullying behaviours.

Spotting bullying can be quite difficult, especially in the teen years when the perpetrators are more savvy. In young children it tends to be more physical or blatant name-calling. In teens, they have learnt what buttons to press but can do so far more subtly and have branched out into other forms of social intimidation and psychological torture, isolation being one example of this type of behaviour.

It is unfair to think that teachers can be the only ones to stop bullying in the school. Parents must take some responsibility for their child’s actions. However, especially in primary school, teachers spend a lot of time with their students and should be tuning in on their emotional state and any unexplained changes in patterns of behaviour. The once quiet, placid child who is now always getting trouble might be a sign that they are being bullied, either at home or at school. The child might be trying to fit in so they don’t get bullied or they would rather get in trouble and “sit out” at lunchtime rather than face the children who are bullying them.

There are some strategies for dealing with bullies that can be adopted. Not every strategy will work for every situation. It can be a bit of trial an error, which is not helpful for the person being bullied. Having as much knowledge about what bullying is and how it can be triggered is an important step in combating it. I am not going to list the strategies here, nor am I going to go through the pros and cons of each strategy. That is something everyone should do for themselves because then you have learnt it, I haven’t told you it.

It is foolish to think that there is any social grouping that does not experience some type of bullying. Even in supposedly intelligent, adult social structures it exists. It annoys me when principals of schools or heads of departments in workplaces turn around and say, “We have an anti-bullying policy, we don’t have bullies at our school.” The anti-bullying policies being there doesn’t stop the bully, putting them into action helps to prevent it but it still happens because people are afraid to report it.

Sometimes I think back to my own school experience and wonder why I never spoke up about people making fun of the way I looked. I think it was because I was afraid of being rejected even more. In the end, it didn’t even matter because I spent most of my lunchtimes alone or in the staff room of one of the departments. Perhaps if I had said something when it first started, then it wouldn’t have got that far.

The help I needed wasn’t the help I wanted and I rejected the only help ever offered to me. Admittedly it was probably too little too late, but part of the responsibility for that lay squarely on my shoulders for not saying something earlier. Taking responsibility for your own actions is, unfortunately, something most teenagers don’t learn until they become adults, and even then the lesson is sometimes lost.

The result of my experience at school was this attitude: I am not attractive and nothing I do will make me attractive so why bother. It was a vicious cycle. The more people drew attention to the small imperfections, the greater my general hatred of how I looked grew and the less I bothered with my appearance. It was completely opposed to how I wanted to be seen, because I wanted to be that girl all the boys wanted and all the girls envied. The knowledge that I wasn’t, nor ever would be, that girl fuelled the cycle as well.

Another result of my experience was that I would allow any boy/man who showed an interest to do whatever they wanted because I figured that was the best I could do. Even today, I fall “in love” at the drop of a hat. If I am shown any affection, I obsess over that person. Any of my ex’s who are reading this will know what I am talking about. It’s also part of the reason why I can’t make it to that year mark of a relationship. The burn out effect is huge.

But we’re getting off topic. My point is that the effects a bully has can be far-reaching and incredibly detrimental psychologically if not dealt with early enough. Ideally, if it can be stopped before it starts then none of this need happen. In reality, early intervention is the best option because it is impossible to stop every single instance of bullying before it starts.

My advice to any parent or teacher who suspects bullying is to talk to the child. Even if they reject the help initially, keep reminding them that you are there, to talk and to listen and to act if they need or want it. The knowledge that someone is there may not fix the problem but it goes a long way in allowing the child to open up about it.

Truth be told, many victims of your run of the mill schoolyard bullying will grow up and forgive the people who did them damage, especially if the ones who treated them so badly make amends. This doesn’t mean that they condone the actions, just that they understand. Saying “I’m sorry” goes a long way to righting a wrong, no matter what the situation. It doesn’t wipe out what happened or what was said. It doesn’t change the way you see yourself when you look in the mirror. It does change how you see the other person though.

So to anyone who feels I did them wrong at some point, my most heartfelt apologies so any distress caused, especially “T” who I called stupid when we were in year 6 at school and “K” who I called a bitch in year 10 at school.

Significant Events in 1980

 Why did I choose
1980 and what happened that was so significant? It's is the year I was born. What could be more significant than that? J

Quite a few things actually but I’ve selected one event from each month which I think are significant. I have tried to be international in choosing events, and to pick a variety of subjects, from natural disasters, politics, entertainment and sports. I hope you find it interesting and feel free to let me know your significant event from 1980 in the comments section below.

January 6 – Global Positioning System time epoch begins at 00:00 UTC.

Despite GPS project being developed in 1973 and the network not being fully operational until 1994, this date is marked as the beginning of the GPS age as it is when the GPS time and UTC time were correlated. GPS has been of signifcance to the military and civilians in day to day life for many years. Thanks to GPS tracking of military craft is easier and civilians need never be lost again, though every system has its glitches and my car’s GPS has been known to think I was 100m away from where I actually was, making driving down the road an interesting prospect, what with the GPS telling me to stop driving down the middle of a Golf Course.

February 19 – Bon Scott of AC/DC dies of alcohol poisoning.

Bon joined AC/DC in 1974 as son writer and lead vocalist. He was instrumental in the production of some of the biggest AC/DC albums, including “High Voltage”, “T.N.T.”, “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”, “Let There Be Rock”, “Powerage” and “Highway to Hell”. Following a night of heavy drinking in a London club called the Music Machine, Bon passed out in a friends car and was discovered lifeless the next morning. Official cause of death is listed as acute alcohol poisoning and death by misadventure. Bon was cremated and interred in Fremantle Cemetery. His grave has been listed as a heritage site by the National trust of Australia due to its cutural significance. Although the remaining band members considered quitting, they decided to continue after receiving blessings from the Scott family. I have had a very strange relationship with AC/DC music over the years (as a little kid I didn’t like them but I had terrible taste back then) but now I hear them every day and I can’t get enough.

March 21 – US President Jimmy Carter announces that the US will boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow.

Along with a number of other countries, the United States announced it would boycott the games due to the Soviet invasion of Afganistan. They held their own games, entitled the Olympic Boycott Games (also known as the Liberty Bell Classic). The Soviets then led a return boycott of the 1984 Games held in Los Angeles. I feel for the athletes who trained so hard to make the team only to be told they couldn’t go because of a political statement. There would have been no danger for the athletes and it’s just another case of using sport to push a political agenda.

April 10 – Spain and the United Kingdom agree to reopen the border between Gibraltar and Spain.

The border was ultimately closed in 1969 following a referendum in 1967 in Gibraltar to decide whether to return to Spanish rule or to remain under British rule which overwhelmingly favoured remaining under the British. Although the agreement was made in 1980, the border was not fully opened until 1985, following a partial reopening in 1982, proving once again that countries are quick to act in the negative and slow to act in the positive.

May 17 – a Tampa, Florida court acquits white police officers of killing Arthur McDuffie, a black insurance executive.

McDuffie initially led police on an 8-minute high speed chase through residential streets before apparently losing control of the motorbike he was riding and being subdued by chasing officers. The police accused McDuffie of kicking them. McDuffie sustained multiple skull fractures, the result of being hit with clubs and fists. The police attempted to cover up the attack by running over McDuffie’s motorbike and claiming the injuries he’d sustained were the result of an accident.

• Veverka – immunity – testified that officers hit McDuffie 10-12 times until motionless and that they attempted to cover this up by running over McDuffie’s motorbike.
• William Hanlon – immunity – testified he had choked McDuffie to the ground and that Marrero struck McDuffie with a flashlight. Also testified that he ran over McDuffie’s motorbike.
• Meier – immunity – testified that McDuffie had slowed down to 25mph and shouted “I give up” and that 3 to 8 officers surrounded McDuffie, pulled off his helmet and proceeded to beat him. Testified that Marrero had struck McDuffie at least twice.
• Ubaldo Del Toro – acquitted by the judge as he said the state failed to prove it’s case
• Alex Marrero – aquitted by all white jury as the murder weapon was never correctly identified.
• Ira Diggs – aquitted by all white jury
• Michael Watts – aquitted by all white jury
• Herbert Evans – aquitted by all white jury

The lack of any convictions led 5,000 people to take to the Miami streets in protest. By nightfall the protest had turned into a riot. Over course of the next few days 3,500 National Guard Troops had been sent in to quell the violence and 15 people were killed. The next year the McDuffie family were awarded a $1.1million settlement in return for dropping their civil suit against the police for wrongful death. Unfortunately, the lessons learned here did not stick. Maybe one day people will learn to get along with each other, regardless of the differences between them.

June 25 – a Muslim Brotherhood assasination attempt against Syrian President Hafez al-Assad fails.

After the 1963 coup by the Ba’thist military, political freedoms were restricted and the Brotherhood were outlawed in 1964. In March, stikes and protests were made all over Syria in reaction to the 17^th anniversary of the Ba’thist coup. The regime of Hafez al-Assad sent tens of thousands of troops, along with tanks and hilcopters, in to disperse the demonstrators, in the process killing hundreds and arresting over 8,000. It took Syrian intelligence almost two years to infiltrate the Brotherhood. In 1982, the so-called Hama Massacre too place in which as many as 40,000 people were killed in the town of Hama when Assad ordered the Syrian Army to bambard the town to quell a revolt by the Brotherhood. Despite this atrocity and it’s leadership being forced into exile, the Brotherhood has continued to advocate for democracy in Syria.

July 9 – Pope John Paul II visits Brazil.

This may not seem like a significant event except for the fact that 7 people were crushed to death in a crowd metting him. More than 1.5 million people turned out to see the Pope on his first visit to Brazil and for it to turn out like it did is tragic. I have never understood the stampede effect. Why do people rush forward? I can understand if you’re in the second row, maybe leaning forward over the first row to shake the Pope’s hand or whatever, but if you’re any further back, what is gained by pushing forward? Why would you risk other people’s lives for a non-existent reward? This goes for any celebrity, not just the Pope.

August 17 – baby Azaria Chamberlain disappears from a campsite at Uluru (then known as Ayers Rock).

I grew up with this story hanging over me. Even though I was only 8 months old when it happened, it was always in the news when I was little because of the conviction of her mother and the subsequent appeals and finally release in 1988 after new evidence came to light. While it is generall accepted that she was perhaps taken by a dingo, especially as there have been other attacks and deaths, there are still those who believe that Lindy killed her 9-week-old daughter. The truth of what happened to baby Azaria will be lost to the rock forever and maybe that’s how it was always meant to be.

September 12 – Kenan Evran stages a military coup in Turkey.

Leading up to the 80s, Turkey was facing strikes and the partial paralysis of the political system thanks to a myriad of economic and social problems. The pretext of the coup was to resolve these problems. The coup put a halt to the rampant inflation which had seen the economy on the verge of collapse and the coup also resulted in a complete re-writing of the constitution which was put to a referendum in 1982 and was accepted with 92% of the vote, though evidence would suggest that the referendum was not held with any other result but this in mind. The coup also rounded up between 250,000 and 600,000 people or which 230 were tried, 14,000 were stripped of their citizenship and 50 were executed. Hundreds were tortured and thousands went missing, many of whom are still missing, presumed dead. Hundreds of members of the paramilitary group the Grey Wolves were also imprisoned to prevent them from staging their own coup. Kenan Evran organised general elections to be held in November 1983 however they were hardly democratic in the true sense of the word as parties had to be appoved and the prevailing party was led by one of the instigators of the initial coup. After this election, however, the military regime dissolved itself and the country has’? been relatively free from political trouble and has enjoyed democratic elections ever since.

October 10 - El Asnam, Algeria is destroyed by an earthquake, which claims more than 2,600 lives.

Previously known as Orléansville, the town had previously been almost destroyed by an earthquake in 1954, which took the lives of over 1,500 inhabitants. The 1980 quake claims 2,600 lives (though reports have put the number as high as 3,000). After El Asnam was rebuilt it changed its name to the city of Chlef. Though this earthquake was devastating, with many people losing lives, loved ones and homes, it did show the need to rethink how buildings were constructed in Algeria generally and, more specifically, in the Atlas Mountains, though it also begs the question as to why these lessons weren’t learnt after the 1954 quake. Maybe the construction technologies weren’t available, maybe the communication technologies to get the information through weren’t available. Whatever the reason, if they had rebuilt after the 1954 quake in a shock-resistant method then maybe a lot of lives would have been saved and a lot of people wouldn’t have had to suffer such economic hardship.

November 23 – a magnitude 7 earthquake hits southern Italy.

The quake and its subsequent 90 aftershocks killed approximately 4,800 people and left 300,000 homeless. The Italian government, as well as many other nations, spent millions on reconstructing the affected area, though a major corruption scandal broke in the early 1990s claiming that much of the money earmarked for construction and reliefe efforts actually lined the pockets of the power-hungry and corrupt officials and politicians, meaning only approximately one quarter of the money actually went where it was supposed to. The fact that people can be so selfish saddens me beyond words. I cannot bear the fact that lining ones own pockets is of greater importance than the welfare of your fellow man.

Dec 8 – John Lennon is murdered in New York City.

After the Beatles broke up and John Lennon and Yoko moved to New York, life seemed pretty good. They had two sons, Sean and Julian. John’s solo efforts had been successful. Yet one man saw Lennon as a sell out and a phony. Mark David Chapman, a somewhat sanity challenged individual who (after becoming obsessed with the novel The Catcher in the Rye) saw himself as a real life equivalent of the books protagonist. While he originally entered a not guilty by reason of insanity, he later withdrew this plea and entered a plea of guilty. Discussion has raged over whether Chapman was schizophrenic, sociopathic or just delusional. Being a celebrity attracts the attention of a lot of different people, some good and some bad. The more outspoken you are the more attention you receive. Lennon was not only a member of one of the most famous and successful bands of all time, he was also a passionate activist for world peace. His untimely death perhaps made him a bigger character than he would have been had he either survived the assassination or not been the target in the first place. It’s not the first time this has happened and it certainly won’t be the last but maybe we can learn something from this event to make the world a better and safer place for future generations of popular activists.

Toddlers and Tiaras … and Tears and Tantrums …

PLEASE NOTE: This post contains adult themes that may not be suitable for young readers. Parental guidance is recommended.

Recently Eden Wood, star of the show Toddlers and Tiaras and winner of many beauty pageants, visited Australia. I have to say two things upfront about this girl (and the other little girls like her):

1. I think, without make-up and fancy clothes, she is probably a very cute little girl (I say “probably” because I have never seen her without make up or fancy clothes on).
2. I feel sorry for her because once she loses the cute factor, what’s going to happen to her?

I also have to say that this is not going to be a glowing endorsement of the child beauty pageant industry. I am not a fan. I think it’s only fair to state this upfront. I have nothing against children modeling clothes, being in ads, on TV, in movies, etc. I do have a problem with the way the children are treated in the attempts by the parents to win these things.

Maybe Eden likes doing the pageants but I’m sure she’d like doing them just as much if she was dressed in a cute summer dress and sandals and singing “Mary had a little lamb” as she does being dressed head to toe in sequins and feathers and singing some song that is ten years too old for her, not to mention moves that are twenty years too old.

''If you are looking at children in a sexual way, you should be ashamed of yourself and something is wrong with you. It's all about a beautiful dress, a beautiful child with lots of personality performing on stage.'' Annette Hill, owner of the Texas parent company Universal Royalty Beauty Pageant.

What a joke! If you dress a child up to look like an adult and coach them how to act like an adult then you have to expect that people are going to see them that way; except that they don’t see an adult, they see a child being made to seem like an adult.

The parents of the contestants claim that their precious little commodity can sometimes have a “diva” moment. You say diva moment, I say tantrum. If a child is screaming and crying (and kicking and hitting, I might add) because they don’t want to go on stage, let alone perform, then that’s a tantrum and that’s telling you something.

To be honest, I wouldn't mind so much if they were showing actual beauty, but there's nothing beautiful about smothering your daughter in make up, dressing her up like a drag queen or showgirl and making her dance like a stripper. It’s bad enough that kids see their music idols and film stars doing this, let alone their peers.

One of the Australian television networks followed Eden and her mother as they went touring around. The poor child was dolled up as if she should be on a catwalk with make up, faux fur coat, the works. A part of me died when I saw that. She was at the zoo, for goodness sake! She should be running around in jeans and a t-shirt or a simple skirt and top.

Just because you have a TV crew following you doesn’t mean that she’s given up any claim she has to a normal childhood. You would certainly get a better reaction from the public if they saw you allowing her to be a normal child instead of “on” 24/7.

Some pageant directors liken them to a protracted game of dress up. I have to strongly disagree with this. The child is not dressing up in mum’s clothes and tottering around in heels that are five sizes too big. The child is being dressed by their parents in clothes that would make many adults blush, and if they’re not being sexualised, they are being turned into porcelain dolls.

The whole idea of the porcelain doll look is the lack of imperfection. The young girls where make thicker than most runway models. There have been accusations of Botox and plastic surgery being performed on children as young at 7 years old. Whether these are true or not, it scares me that people are thinking these procedures have been done in the first place.

The Jonbenét Ramsey case, while not directly linked to beauty pageants, did raise some questions about the industry, especially following the investigation into the possible sexual assault motivation for her death. While, in this case, there was no evidence to support a sexual assault claim against any of the men in her life the fear was realised in the public mind that these little girls could be in danger from paedophiles and other sexual predators because of the way in which they are portrayed.

Pageant directors all claim that their event is family friendly and free from paedophiles because sex offenders are registered and not allowed within cooee of a child. What they fail to take into account is the paedophile that hasn’t been caught yet and, therefore, is not on the sex offenders register. They also fail to take into account the ones at home who are watching the videos online or the documentaries on the television. Parading a child around in skimpy clothes and make up is all fun and games until the child turns up dead because a paedophile has tried to abduct them, or the child is sexually assaulted (possibly raped) and has to live with that for the rest of their lives.

I’m pretty sure that if I had a daughter I would think she was the most beautiful little thing on the face of the planet, but there is no way in hell I would subject her to half of what most of the little “beauty queens” go through. I would want her to climb trees. I would want her to play at dress ups. I would want her to not worry if she got a graze on her knee.

And, most of all, I would want her to know that it doesn’t matter what she looks like because she would always be the most beautiful girl in the world to me.